


A Double Espresso with a Shot of Interrogation

by DinerGuy



Category: Castle
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-21
Updated: 2012-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-15 23:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinerGuy/pseuds/DinerGuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Esposito and Ryan give Castle the third degree, but why?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Double Espresso with a Shot of Interrogation

**Author's Note:**

> Cowritten with my dear Kkarrie.
> 
> This was written especially for a wonderful friend, Jden, in honor of her birthday today. Happy birthday, Jay! We hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Disclaimer: Castle does not belong to us, nor do we claim it does. We just enjoy playing with the characters.

Castle landed with a  _thunk_ in the hard chair and looked up at the two men standing in front of him with crossed arms. "What was that for?" he protested, trying to stand up.

Esposito pushed him back down. "I think you should let us do the talking."

Ryan nodded in agreement, glaring at the writer. "Let's discuss what happened this morning."

"This morning?" Castle gave the two detectives a confused look as they took a seat across the table from him. "Nothing happened this morning. I made breakfast for Alexis and then I came down to the precinct to see if you guys had a case."

"Does that sound like nothing to you, Ryan?" Esposito asked, glancing at his partner.

Ryan shook his head. "Sure doesn't." He pulled a clear plastic bag from his jacket pocket and pushed it across the table to the writer as he took one of the chairs across from Castle. "Does this look familiar to you, Mr. Castle?"

Castle frowned and looked down at the envelope. It contained a sheet of paper that looked suspiciously like a ticket from a dry cleaner. "Why does this have Beckett's name on it?" he asked, looking back up.

Esposito sighed. "Don't play dumb with us, Castle. We all know the crime that has been committed here."

"What crime?" Castle looked between the two other men. "Is this some kind of joke?" He paused for a second and then grinned. "Did Beckett put you up to this?"

Esposito slammed a hand down on the table, "This is serious, Castle." He glanced over his shoulder at the mirror behind him and then leaned in and continued in a conspiratorial whisper, "Beckett went home, dude."

"Home in the middle of the day," Ryan added, leaning in as well. "Castle, she never does that. You pushed her to go home from work before six."

Castle still looked confused. "Are you two mad at me?"

"Not mad, bro," Esposito leaned back in his chair and resumed his normal volume. "Just disappointed."

"I'm still trying to figure out what I did," Castle replied. "Is this because I used the last Hazelnut Latte mix in the breakroom?"

Esposito snorted a laugh. "You honestly expect us to believe you don't know what's going on?"

"We don't even like hazelnut," Ryan chimed in, his face serious.

Castle's brow furrowed for a moment, then his left eyebrow went up. "Wait. This isn't about the coffee incident earlier, is it? I said I was sorry - multiple times!"

"Apologies don't make up for coffee stains the size of Lake Michigan," Ryan snapped.

"Oh come on," Castle objected. "It wasn't that big!"

"That was her favorite shirt," Esposito informed him.

"It's actually a blouse," Ryan corrected his partner and then looked back to Castle when he saw the glare in Esposito's eyes. "Either way, it was her favorite," he continued quickly.

"Guys, come on," Castle entreated as both continued to glare at him. "She said it was fine!"

"Fine?" Esposito repeated. "Fine? You left after that; you didn't see what went down once you did. You think you could work in a shirt soaked with coffee?"

Castle opened his mouth to respond but Ryan didn't let him. "And then she's going to have to take more time off to pick her blouse up once it's clean. Do you think Beckett can afford to take that much time to run personal errands?"

"It's time that she could be using to catch dirtbag criminals," Esposito said, leaning across the table to get in Castle's face, "but she has to use it to go pick up laundry all because you couldn't keep from spilling a simple cup of coffee."

The Hispanic detective pushed his chair back and stood. With one last long look at Castle, who was still sitting where he had been put, Esposito turned on his heel and strode out of the room. Ryan opened his mouth to say something, then apparently thought better of it. He gave Castle a look the writer couldn't quite read, then followed his partner out the door.

The door shutting echoed loudly in the silence of the room, and Castle looked over to the mirror across from him. Beckett was probably behind it, laughing at the whole situation.

He just couldn't understand what was going on. Beckett hadn't seemed mad at all that morning. Well, maybe she had been a little perturbed. But not upset enough to have Esposito and Ryan confront him the minute he walked back into the station. At least, he didn't think so.

Either she had put them up to it or they had decided between themselves to do so; Castle wasn't quite sure. And for that matter, Castle wasn't sure they even had the legal grounds to drag him into an interrogation room over a spilled cup of coffee. He would have to ask when they came back in.

In the meantime, he pulled a small notebook and pen out of his pocket. If he had to spend time on this side of an interrogation room, he might as well write it all down. Not that he hadn't been in this situation before, but it never hurt to take down more observations on the subject.

He was halfway through the first page on his notebook when the door opened again. He looked up to see Esposito walk through, alone, carrying a pair of cuffs in one hand. "Alright, writer boy, stand up."

"You're arresting me?" Castle's face was a mixture of shock and disbelief. "On what charges?"

"Defacing police property," Esposito said calmly, motioning for Castle to stand and turn around.

"Esposito, c'mon, I can pay for the dry cleaning," Castle protested as he stood and held up his hands.

"Don't make me push the limits of police brutality," Esposito threatened, taking a step closer.

Castle opened his mouth to object and then closed it and swallowed nervously.

The door opened again and Ryan came in, gave Castle a half-smile, then whispered something in his partner's ear.

Esposito kept his gaze on Castle as he listened to the other detective. "Well," he said as Ryan left again, "looks like your lucky day, Castle. Beckett won't be pressing charges." He pocketed the cuffs. "But I still want you to write a sincere apology." He gave the writer one last glare and then headed out the door.

As the detective strode out of the room, Castle watched him go, trying to process what had just happened. He couldn't believe Esposito had been about to arrest him, of all people. He couldn't believe that Gates had let them use the interrogation room to arrest him either. Maybe Gates didn't know... Castle gave a little smile. He could complain to her and have her chew out the two detectives.

He frowned. No, that was the petty way to deal with the situation. He would apologize to Beckett again. Then he would plot his revenge on Esposito and Ryan. Probably something involving water balloons or flour bombs.

He straightened his clothes and checked the mirror to make sure his hair looked presentable, then headed out to the bullpen to make restitution.

As he walked down the short hallway that connected the interrogation rooms to the rest of the station, Castle noticed that the building was unusually quiet. Normally there were phones ringing and people hurrying around investigating cases or doing paperwork, but right now it was still and silent.

He was a little nervous at what that might mean, but he was set on apologizing. He rounded the corner to the bullpen and was met with a shout from what appeared to be most of the station.

"Surprise!"

Castle jumped, then recovered and tried to regain his composure. In the short time that he'd been in the interrogation room with the two detectives, the entire bullpen had been festooned with balloons and streamers and everyone working was sporting a noise maker or a party hat.

"Happy Birthday, Castle!" the crowd chorused.

Alexis emerged from the crowd of people, dressed in her scrubs. "Are you surprised?" She was smiling from ear to ear as she gave her dad a hug.

"Suprised?" Castle accepted the party hat she handed him. "Yeah, honey, I'd say surprised is a good way to describe this."

Esposito and Ryan joined them, each wearing a look that showed they were quite pleased with themselves.

"No hard feelings, right, bro?" Esposito handed Castle a glass of punch as different station employees stopped by to wish him happy birthday.

"Not since there's cake involved," Castle replied, "but don't you think the cuffs were a bit much?"

Ryan elbowed his partner in the ribs. "I told you," he hissed.

"Told him what?" Beckett asked, walking up in time to hear Ryan's comment.

"Beckett! You aren't still mad about the coffee earlier, are you?" Castle asked, looking hopefully at her.

Beckett gave Esposito a sideways look. "I could be persuaded to be less mad if my dry cleaning were picked up and paid for." She took a sip of her punch. "Now c'mon, Castle, time to cut the cake." She headed for the giant sheet cake sitting on a table.

Castle turned to the two detectives, "You two are so dead," he whispered. "You can't distract someone by threatening to arrest them and making them freak out that they might end up in prison."

"Is there a rule that says that?" Esposito asked, looking over at his partner.

"Pretty sure there's nothing in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights about the right to an attorney in the face of a coffee stain," Ryan said, daring Castle to challenge them.

"Castle! Hurry up," Beckett was holding a box of matches in one hand. "It's going to take forever to light these candles and people are hungry." She struck the match and started lighting the candles, Lanie helping her to get them lit as quickly as possible.

"Don't think there won't be repercussions for this little shenanigan," Castle whispered at the detectives. He pointed a threatening finger at them, unwilling to let them off too easily.

Alexis was back at his side as he made his way over to the cake. "I hope you like it, Dad. I picked out your favorite. You have no idea how long this thing took to plan."

"You planned this?" Castle had assumed Beckett and the boys had done everything.

"Of course; with me working in the morgue now, we never see each other at home anymore. So I thought I'd do your party here," Alexis smiled, wrapping an arm around his waist. "My biggest problem was figuring out how to get you out of the way long enough to get it set up. I finally decided locking you in jail was the only way."

Castle turned back to look at Ryan and Esposito who were grinning at him. "So that was all you?"

"Even the threats," Alexis nodded solemnly.

Castle had to hand it to his daughter; he had taught her well. He chuckled and returned her hug. "I was just playing along; I knew they weren't serious."

His daughter rolled her eyes at him. "Of course you did, Dad. Now go blow out your candles before they all melt."

As Castle approached the table where Beckett was lighting the last candle, the gathered crowd burst into song. He smiled to himself as he looked around. He couldn't have asked for a better birthday celebration. He had good friends and the best daughter in the world. And cake, of course; he couldn't forget the cake.


End file.
